Wednesday, December 24, 2008

8 octaves? no biggie

Every company has an end of the year party (bonenkai), so the teachers all get drunk at a formal dinner. Yet there are always the token men who know, after the party its the afterparty. So I tagged along with the 6 (principal included!) to continue boozing at a snack bar. Which means we just snack on things and sing karaoke as the youngest (myself excluded) employee constantly fills our glasses.

I couldn't work the electronics, so they just picked the English songs. Though everyone tells me otherwise, I am a good singer. Especially when drunk. But even I know I failed miserably. What songs did they pick? The Star Spangled Banner. Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You. And they all took pictures on their camera phones.
Merry Christmas from Japan!
I'm actually enjoying myself at work just singing along to Christmas songs in my Santa hat. I went around with sweets (toffee is only butter and sugar, and it transforms like crazy!) which was fun. Missing the family, but it happens.

This was cute, but I couldnt stop laughing and he was embarrassed in class
Me: What do elves make?
High Schooler: Happy.

Many Japanese celebrate it on the eve. What do they eat? Fried chicken and Christmas Cake. KFC convinced them its the dinner with their advertising.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

guess who!

For my 9 classes of forty freshman, the latest lesson is describing people. For the game, students wrote a descriptions of others, I read them aloud, and we had to guess who. How fun! A few were great, “His head looks like a sea urchin with plump cheeks” , "Looks like Obama" (he's really an amazing asian rendition!) or “She walks like a pigeon” (though I didn’t use that one ha).

But most everyone else? Made the game impossible because they didn't describe clothes like I told them to. So what?
“Hair is black. He is small/medium. He is kind and quiet.”
In Japan, that narrows it down to, let’s see, twenty students. Since the other twenty are described the same way, with "she".

trick or treat(ment)

Although no one (spare a few weirdos, and/including foreigners) ever dresses up for Halloween, all the students know all about it and the phrase “Trick or Treat.” So I went around the school all day making them recite it and then revealing candy (I was thinking full out costume, but the entire school had a very serious human rights lecture, no need to look like a total idiot). For a day, I was the most popular kid in school! I went through about 12 various bags of candy I got, and by the end my mixture dwindled to two types, and they would reluctantly choose a piece and then comment to their friends. As I headed home, I tried one and instantly knew my message:

“Oh yes, treat! Here, enjoy this medicinal yet arguably tasty menthol throat lozenge! It's so popular in America! Happy Halloween!”

Yep, total idiot. No costume needed.

night lights


Here is just a few pictures from the previous night of the festival (described below, lines and all)… Basically every town holds a handful of festivals throughout the year, and people just walk around eating amazing Japanese greasy junk food and watching spectacles of sorts (dance troops, people carrying small shrines, etc). They were about 20 people dragging this cart of lanterns. And here is the lady (arguably) who made my takoyaki, or balls of batter with a little chunk of octopus inside and some other delicious things, then drizzled in sauce and mayo. Oh how the Japanese love their mayo!

camera karma

Excited with my new camera, I traveled to see a devil festival with some friends. Basically, mothers hold their children up, parading demons freak the children out, and everyone under the age of 5 is crying and terrified. “It builds character.” It’s also rather hilarious. At the end of the day, I looked for the first time at all my wonderful shots and I noticed every one had these crazy lines through them that won’t go away (look closely)! I was furious. And for the record, it seems Japan terrified of the pope...

I marched into the camera store and butchered an explanation while pointing at the striped photos on the screen. The chick behind the counter had yellow hair (Japanese hair does NOT bleach well), black circles around her eyes, and resembled a stripper who threw on a work polo. She took a photo, looked at it, and low and behold it was perfect. I tried to explain she owed me a new camera and a time machine to go back to the festival, but she just stared at me through her hideously plastic eyelashes. I didn’t quite understand her response, but it was something like, “That’s what you get for switching all our cameras to English.” Yes baby, I feel your pain. Oh Japan, how you hurt us so!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

i'll just pull out this plug

Since my digital camera died lately, I went to the electronic store and was testing them all. Luckily, most are also made for export so English is an option (not the one I love, of course). As always, as I was fiddling around, trying to switch one battery cord into another, and I set off the screeching alarm that sent 3 employees running over to go through the cameras one by one. Needless to say, I backed into the passing onlookers. In stressful situations, my Japanese abilities disappear, so I soon scurried away. Won’t they be thrilled when they realize the stupid America turned the cameras all into English mode!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

breaking fast

In most Japanese households, breakfast is a production, so mine too. As the rising sun (I wrote that without even thinking what this is the land of!) often bursts over me through the glass doors as my alarm goes off, I always get up early to prepare, relax, and enjoy my breakfast. Every morning is basically this:


1) Hot rice, egg, soy sauce

2) Miso soup (instant)

3) Fruit or Veggie

4) Coffee or Tea


When the rice is super hot, you can crack an egg into it and it turns into a semi-cooked mess. Oh, but Emi*, you'll get salmonella! The Japanese have it right because a) raw is how eggs should be and b) 1 in 30,000 eggs has salmonella (Dept of Agriculture study). Delicious!

and the winner is...

Most senior students quit their sport/club 8 months before graduation so that they can study for the college entrance exams. However in rugby, five amazing guys stuck around. Since they spoke the most English I could joke around with them. I love these kids. We sweat together everyday for months prepping for the five-round knock out tournament.

Round One. We dominate the entire game, but in the last play the other team scores. The kick is good. Tie game.

Both teams separate and the two captains walk into the middle of the field. The ref says a few words and reveals two identical envelopes. The other captain picks one, looks at the small slip of paper inside, and tries to contain himself. My captain draws the other, already knowing his fate, and fumbles the paper which flutters slowly into the dirt. Yep, just like his rugby career. Into the dirt.

Heartbreak. Tears. How does that saying go? May the best team not get screwed by the “you lose” envelope. Only in Japan.


Thank you for brightening my everyday.

Here's to my favorite five, and the happier times...

Thursday, October 2, 2008

wazzup??

When not in class, some of the students are really outgoing and will jump in front of me, yell something like “Heyyyy” as a Japanese Fonz might, and run away giggling. Pretty entertaining.

As I was walking across the sports ground to the rugby section, the baseball team was uniformed and running around in 6 perfect rows of 3. When they saw me, they all stopped, took off their caps, did a little bow, and yelled “What’s up” at me! Through my laughter I yelled back “What’s up?!” to them. I was so happy to hear that “slang”, because students always answer "fine thank you and you?" when I try it in the halls.

They came by again where I was putting my boots on and did the same thing to the two nearby teachers, who respectfully returned their bow. Nope, they didn’t say “what's up” at all, but yet another of the Japanese formalities for students respecting their teachers. Right then. Making a mental note not to laugh in their faces next time…

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

yea, i play chess

Early morning convo between one of the Japanese teachers of English (J) and me (E).

J: “Im giving a presentation on chess today for one of my classes, but I don’t know much about it. They did a reading on chess.”
E: “Oh really? I play chess! If I have no class, I can come in and explain it.”
J: “Yea, first period.”
E: “Sure, I can explain a little history, how to play chess, and some facts.”
J: “Great. I didn’t know anything about chess! I’ll stop by right before class”

Quite a surprise when she showed up asking about the African American origins. What? Oh. You have been saying “jazz.” Well this is awkward, because I certainly don’t play jazz, or know a darned thing about it!

me want french fries

My friends and I were at a roadstop fast food place which was like many high volume places in Tokyo (but few where I live). You put in money, push the button of your choice like a vending machine, and get a ticket to bring to the front when your order is ready. I picked French fries, which I hadn’t had in forever. When my number was called, I went up and only small salad in the window. I sat back down, and they called me again. Still, just a salad. So I handed my ticket to the guy anyways. He pushed the salad closer. Confusing.

I briefly considered my options. (A) Be the American who points at the salad she ordered (mistakenly, so it seems) and scream “FRENCH FRIES PLEASE” in terrible Japanese. (B) Take the salad.

The salad was splendid.

Monday, September 15, 2008

genius

today i realized as i was eating my grapefruit mentos (they have all these cool flavors here) that mentos are just oversized skittles!

oh and i wrapped my ipod in cellophane to protect it from the rain when i went running. what a cheap cover! i am so smart today!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

school for the blind

next week, i make my first trip to the school for the blind which i am scheduled to teach at once a month. my supervisor just got a lil info and relayed it to me. i am going to sing an english song i know in a costume for elementary school kids. it took me a few times, but finally i politely asked why in the world i would need a costume for blind kids. he laughed much, but still had no idea. this will be interesting...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

japanese vacations

When I was being interviewed by the international club, they asked me what I did over summer vacation. I told them about traveling, and Misa’s baby, etc. Then I asked them. “Study.” “I studied.” “Study”. “Study.” “I studied.” That was five kids. “Did anyone do anything besides study? Did you travel? See anything? Go anywhere?” Silence.

Those are the only answers when I ask any student at the school. All they do on vacation is study! No joke! Except for the Indonesian exchange student. He traveled to 8 big cities in Japan. Probably more than the Japanese kids have ever been to…

rugby with the boys

I am so lucky that my high school has a rugby team and that the English teacher I work closest with is the coach! Note: women’s rugby is not accepted by the national rugby union. I was pretty scared, and all heads turned from the boys baseball and soccer teams as I stepped onto the large dirt area in my lil rugby shorts (all fields are just dirt).

Needless to say, I had a blast! I soon realized I could never beat even the prop (the “bigger” position, who wasn’t big at all!) on speed. So I relied on my 4 years of experience and a not half bad pair of hands. It’s a perfect challenging level. The hardest part was a drill where they do rock-paper-scissors (which the kids do around 10 times per day to decide anything) to decide which way to run, but my mind literally could not process who the winner was fast enough. I looked like an idiot, time after time, and eventually just threw paper every time!

bazookas

All my life my chest have never been huge, though not flat. But in Japan, I am like Betsy Big-Knockers at the school. The biggest size, a Japanese “D” cup is really a “B” in America with tons padding. I wear really conservative things but of course the guys stare when I talk to a small group of them. But my goodness the girls sneak peaks too! Incredible!

on milk

I bought popsicles. And I can’t help use the words from anchorman when I say “milk was a bad choice”. (Though the milk icecream I had here was delicious!)

The only English words on the entire milk carton are “Extended Shelf Life.” Score! I spend a lot of time reading these three words, cause usually I just stare at anything in English every morning, as my TV blasts all this crazy Japanese crap (the shows are more bizarre than I could ever explain).

Friday, August 29, 2008

first week pictures

maya said every good blog has pictures, and i agree. some first week favorites:

heres the first traditional toilet i used. there are buttons to make tinkling noises because its inappropriate to pee loudly haha. i was pretty freaked out as is, and then i opened the door and was face to face with lil bo peep, about 22 yrs old, pictured right. she looks 3x as ridiculous from the front, with her crazy make-up, blond streaked hair, and pink frilly umbrella. wow. all the toilets at school are like this, so im not getting used to it. i think the button on the wall for noise, but what if its an emergency help button?? i can't read it. maybe i'll check someday...

my first day's groceries: grapefruit mentos, a carp charm, eel on rice for dinner, and anything else i could distinguish. since i cant read the 3000 chinese characters, it is quite an adventure trying to figure out what the heck i am buying and how to cook it. so these were safe. ive been more adventurous, of late.

as i love sunrises and sunsets, here is from day 1 in Tsu. i live on the edge of the city, so i have tons of stuff on one side and rice paddies on the
other. the mountains are amazing. one day, i tried to ride my one-speed bike to them. i made it to the trees. i'll try again sometime soon.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

homestay weekend

August 24th
This past weekend I did a 2 day/ 1 night homestay. It was in a small town in the sticks, Odai. The town ran along a river and was surrounded by beautiful green mountains. Everyone was so friendly, and we were just about famous as foreigners.

My family was an older couple (age 60) who had met in elementary school. They slept in separate rooms, and really didn’t seem to love each other all that much. They got along fine, but the husband just liked to eat, drink, and be merry whereas the wife spent her time cooking, doing calligraphy, and was generally very reserved. So we learned some cooking, calligraphy, tea ceremony, etc. And we had a feast and drank the nite away.

In the end, I am glad I am in Tsu “City”. In Odai, you need a car, it takes 40 minutes to get to the train, and there are no places to go out. But Tsu is small enough to feel a lil welcomed : )

work in the summer

August 7, 2008

On Friday, the English department took me out for a welcome party. They still talked in Japanese for 96% of the time, but it was still pretty great. Such is Japanese business, where there are no such things as interns and people join to stay. The entire meal was about 9 tiny plates of food, including raw beef, chicken, and fish- so great! Lots of drinking too.

Some other facts about my past week
-I bought a bottle of iced coffee out of a vending machine.
-There are dead cicadas everywhere.
-I have read a handful of essays where the students argue for school 6 days/ week.
-I refuse to turn on the AC at my place
-I involuntarily wake up at 645am every morning when the heat and humidity kick in
-What I thought was iced coffee was actually tea. Damn it!
-It took me an hour to stop typing in Japanese characters
-I am really awkward at returning bows
-Everyone in the halls does a lil bow at me
-And kids bow when I hand out papers
-I definitely can’t bow and pass out papers at the same time
-There is already an Okamoto Sensei here
-No, I am not his daughter (several have asked)

Right now I am staring at a stack of 32 class assignments piled on my desk. There are around 40 kids per class. You do the math. If you cant, well, that’s a lot of assignments to grade. Especially I get an essay which begins “I don’t agree not to eat sweet for health.” This may be a long year...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

welcome to my home

July 30, 2008

Today we left orientation as a group and then eventually went our own ways when people from our schools met us. Anyways, I was met and taken around Tsu High School to meet all the staff and the English teachers. One man told me about how he regrets his life and wished he were me. I didn’t really how to respond, and it was awkward to say the least. One woman grabbed my hands and said how thankful she was that I came (translation: I’m drafting you for 3 hours everyday in my summer classes and you will grade many essays for me). I just smiled, gave an awkward bow, and mumbled any Japanese greetings I knew.

Then my apartment! No one could explain in English how anything worked, so I guess I can figure most of it out through their hand gestures and broken words. My Japanese is not much at all, but it’s the easiest way to communicate. Oh my goodness!

The apartment is pretty huge though, it has 3 rooms and a large kitchen. The guy before me had a wife and kid, and he left a lot of stuff.

I had two options as I sat in my new home by myself with no one to speak English to, no internet, no working phone, and totally helpless: I could break into tears (odds favored this highly) or not. Well after nearly 10 minutes trying to unlock and un-kickstand my bike and staving off tears, I was off smiling through the streets. This is my life now, and I have to make the most of it. I will try my best to greet everyone, especially the nearby stone statue of a smiling/waving walrus (who really puts that in their house?). I’ll call him Wally.

There are sooo many funny insane things, and it’s tough laughing by yourself but I gotta learn (and continue to blog for pages each time? hope not…). From the insanity of Japanese TV, to the 6 child charms that all jingled when the 40 year old English teacher pulled her phone out, to the 4 tries it took to put my futon cover on—this is Japan.

When my dad was this age he moved from Nara, Japan to the United States to begin his new life. Now, I have picked up and left the country I call home and am living hours away from where he grew up. Unlike him, I don’t plan to start a new life here. But this certainly isn’t my old one...

Getting off the plane...

July 27th (the 26th disappeared in flight)
I am no longer in America anymore.
I flew on American Airlines from Los Angeles to Tokyo today. I haven’t slept in 24 hours, there are gross bright orange droplet stains from the ramen I just ate all over my shirt (how do the Japanese avoid these??), and I really have no idea what time it is.

It feels kind of lonely, and I am not even out of Tokyo. Everyone here is so excited to be here. Except me. I mean I am, and I can’t wait to actually get to my own apartment and start to settle down in Tsu, Mie, where I will live for the next twelve months. Wow. I hadn’t even begun to realize the challenges. Buying food, mailing a letter, grabbing a cup of coffee, accomplishing anything... Suddenly, these things are all huge obstacles for me. Realizing the up escalator is on the left side, remembering to cover my mouth apologetically every time I yawn, and figuring out how to flush the toilet…these are all small obstacles, yet still obstacles. I already feel the stares and suddenly realize that I am surrounded by a different type of people, and I’ve only been out for about an hour to go get dinner. I ate at Denny’s, and there was no “pancakes with bacon and egg” on the menu. It was all Japanese food, and it even said the calories next to everything. No, I am no longer in America anymore.

Greetings from Japan!

Hey All,

Thanks for checking this out. Can't guarentee anything, but that's the fun of it i suppose. Anyhow, it took me so long for internet that the first handful of posts will be all old stuff I wrote in the first month. Enjoy!