Wednesday, December 24, 2008
8 octaves? no biggie
I couldn't work the electronics, so they just picked the English songs. Though everyone tells me otherwise, I am a good singer. Especially when drunk. But even I know I failed miserably. What songs did they pick? The Star Spangled Banner. Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You. And they all took pictures on their camera phones.
This was cute, but I couldnt stop laughing and he was embarrassed in class
Me: What do elves make?
High Schooler: Happy.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
guess who!
But most everyone else? Made the game impossible because they didn't describe clothes like I told them to. So what?
“Hair is black. He is small/medium. He is kind and quiet.”
In Japan, that narrows it down to, let’s see, twenty students. Since the other twenty are described the same way, with "she".
trick or treat(ment)
“Oh yes, treat! Here, enjoy this medicinal yet arguably tasty menthol throat lozenge! It's so popular in America! Happy Halloween!”
Yep, total idiot. No costume needed.
night lights
Here is just a few pictures from the previous night of the festival (described below, lines and all)… Basically every tow
camera karma
I marched into the camera store and butchered an explanation while pointing at the striped photos on the screen. The chick behind the counter had yellow hair (Japanese hair does NOT bleach well), black circles around her eyes, and resembled a stripper who threw on a work polo. She took a photo, looked at it, and low and behold it was perfect. I tried to explain she owed me a new camera and a time machine to go back to the festival, but she just stared at me through her hideously plastic eyelashes. I didn’t q
Sunday, October 19, 2008
i'll just pull out this plug
Sunday, October 12, 2008
breaking fast
In most Japanese households, breakfast is a production, so mine too. As the rising sun (I wrote that without even thinking what this is the land of!) often bursts over me through the glass doors as my alarm goes off, I always get up early to prepare, relax, and enjoy my breakfast. Every morning is basically this:
1) Hot rice, egg, soy sauce
2) Miso soup (instant)
3) Fruit or Veggie
4) Coffee or Tea
When the rice is super hot, you can crack an egg into it and it turns into a semi-cooked mess. Oh, but Emi*, you'll get salmonella! The Japanese have it right because a) raw is how eggs should be and b) 1 in 30,000 eggs has salmonella (Dept of Agriculture study). Delicious!
and the winner is...
Round One. We dominate the entire game, but in the last play the other team scores. The kick is good. Tie game.
Both teams separate and the two captains walk into the middle of the field. The ref says a few words and reveals two identical envelopes. The other captain picks one, looks at the small slip of paper inside, and tries to contain himself. My captain draws the other, already knowing his fate, and fumbles the paper which flutters slowly into the dirt. Yep, just like his rugby career. Into the dirt.
Heartbreak. Tears. How does that saying go? May the best team not get screwed by the “you lose” envelope. Only in Japan.

Thank you for brightening my everyday.
Here's to my favorite five, and the happier times...
Thursday, October 2, 2008
wazzup??
As I was walking across the sports ground to the rugby section, the baseball team was uniformed and running around in 6 perfect rows of 3. When they saw me, they all stopped, took off their caps, did a little bow, and yelled “What’s up” at me! Through my laughter I yelled back “What’s up?!” to them. I was so happy to hear that “slang”, because students always answer "fine thank you and you?" when I try it in the halls.
They came by again where I was putting my boots on and did the same thing to the two nearby teachers, who respectfully returned their bow. Nope, they didn’t say “what's up” at all, but yet another of the Japanese formalities for students respecting their teachers. Right then. Making a mental note not to laugh in their faces next time…
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
yea, i play chess
J: “Im giving a presentation on chess today for one of my classes, but I don’t know much about it. They did a reading on chess.”
E: “Oh really? I play chess! If I have no class, I can come in and explain it.”
J: “Yea, first period.”
E: “Sure, I can explain a little history, how to play chess, and some facts.”
J: “Great. I didn’t know anything about chess! I’ll stop by right before class”
Quite a surprise when she showed up asking about the African American origins. What? Oh. You have been saying “jazz.” Well this is awkward, because I certainly don’t play jazz, or know a darned thing about it!
me want french fries
I briefly considered my options. (A) Be the American who points at the salad she ordered (mistakenly, so it seems) and scream “FRENCH FRIES PLEASE” in terrible Japanese. (B) Take the salad.
The salad was splendid.
Monday, September 15, 2008
genius
oh and i wrapped my ipod in cellophane to protect it from the rain when i went running. what a cheap cover! i am so smart today!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
school for the blind
Thursday, September 11, 2008
japanese vacations
Those are the only answers when I ask any student at the school. All they do on vacation is study! No joke! Except for the Indonesian exchange student. He traveled to 8 big cities in Japan. Probably more than the Japanese kids have ever been to…
rugby with the boys
I am so lucky that my high school has a rugby team and that the English teacher I work closest with is the coach! Note: women’s rugby is not accepted by the national rugby union. I was pretty scared, and all heads turned from the boys baseball and soccer teams as I stepped onto the large dirt area in my lil rugby shorts (all fields are just dirt).
Needless to say, I had a blast! I soon realized I could never beat even the prop (the “bigger” position, who wasn’t big at all!) on speed. So I relied on my 4 years of experience and a not half bad pair of hands. It’s a perfect challenging level. The hardest part was a drill where they do rock-paper-scissors (which the kids do around 10 times per day to decide anything) to decide which way to run, but my mind literally could not process who the winner was fast enough. I looked like an idiot, time after time, and eventually just threw paper every time!
bazookas
All my life my chest have never been huge, though not flat. But in Japan, I am like Betsy Big-Knockers at the school. The biggest size, a Japanese “D” cup is really a “B” in America with tons padding. I wear really conservative things but of course the guys stare when I talk to a small group of them. But my goodness the girls sneak peaks too! Incredible!
on milk
I bought popsicles. And I can’t help use the words from anchorman when I say “milk was a bad choice”. (Though the milk icecream I had here was delicious!)
Friday, August 29, 2008
first week pictures
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
homestay weekend
This past weekend I did a 2 day/ 1 night homestay. It was in a small town in the sticks, Odai. The town ran along a river and was surrounded by beautiful green mountains. Everyone was so friendly, and we were just about famous as foreigners.
My family was an older couple (age 60) who had met in elementary school. They slept in separate rooms, and really didn’t seem to love each other all that much. They got along fine, but the husband just liked to eat, drink, and be merry whereas the wife spent her time cooking, doing calligraphy, and was generally very reserved. So we learned some cooking, calligraphy, tea ceremony, etc. And we had a feast and drank the nite away.
In the end, I am glad I am in Tsu “City”. In Odai, you need a car, it takes 40 minutes to get to the train, and there are no places to go out. But Tsu is small enough to feel a lil welcomed : )
work in the summer
On Friday, the English department took me out for a welcome party. They still talked in Japanese for 96% of the time, but it was still pretty great. Such is Japanese business, where there are no such things as interns and people join to stay. The entire meal was about 9 tiny plates of food, including raw beef, chicken, and fish- so great! Lots of drinking too.
Some other facts about my past week
-I bought a bottle of iced coffee out of a vending machine.
-There are dead cicadas everywhere.
-I have read a handful of essays where the students argue for school 6 days/ week.
-I refuse to turn on the AC at my place
-I involuntarily wake up at 645am every morning when the heat and humidity kick in
-What I thought was iced coffee was actually tea. Damn it!
-It took me an hour to stop typing in Japanese characters
-I am really awkward at returning bows
-Everyone in the halls does a lil bow at me
-And kids bow when I hand out papers
-I definitely can’t bow and pass out papers at the same time
-There is already an Okamoto Sensei here
-No, I am not his daughter (several have asked)
Right now I am staring at a stack of 32 class assignments piled on my desk. There are around 40 kids per class. You do the math. If you cant, well, that’s a lot of assignments to grade. Especially I get an essay which begins “I don’t agree not to eat sweet for health.” This may be a long year...
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
welcome to my home
Today we left orientation as a group and then eventually went our own ways when people from our schools met us. Anyways, I was met and taken around Tsu High School to meet all the staff and the English teachers. One man told me about how he regrets his life and wished he were me. I didn’t really how to respond, and it was awkward to say the least. One woman grabbed my hands and said how thankful she was that I came (translation: I’m drafting you for 3 hours everyday in my summer classes and you will grade many essays for me). I just smiled, gave an awkward bow, and mumbled any Japanese greetings I knew.
Then my apartment! No one could explain in English how anything worked, so I guess I can figure most of it out through their hand gestures and broken words. My Japanese is not much at all, but it’s the easiest way to communicate. Oh my goodness!
The apartment is pretty huge though, it has 3 rooms and a large kitchen. The guy before me had a wife and kid, and he left a lot of stuff.
I had two options as I sat in my new home by myself with no one to speak English to, no internet, no working phone, and totally helpless: I could break into tears (odds favored this highly) or not. Well after nearly 10 minutes trying to unlock and un-kickstand my bike and staving off tears, I was off smiling through the streets. This is my life now, and I have to make the most of it. I will try my best to greet everyone, especially the nearby stone statue of a smiling/waving walrus (who really puts that in their house?). I’ll call him Wally.
There are sooo many funny insane things, and it’s tough laughing by yourself but I gotta learn (and continue to blog for pages each time? hope not…). From the insanity of Japanese TV, to the 6 child charms that all jingled when the 40 year old English teacher pulled her phone out, to the 4 tries it took to put my futon cover on—this is Japan.
When my dad was this age he moved from Nara, Japan to the United States to begin his new life. Now, I have picked up and left the country I call home and am living hours away from where he grew up. Unlike him, I don’t plan to start a new life here. But this certainly isn’t my old one...
Getting off the plane...
I am no longer in America anymore.
I flew on American Airlines from Los Angeles to Tokyo today. I haven’t slept in 24 hours, there are gross bright orange droplet stains from the ramen I just ate all over my shirt (how do the Japanese avoid these??), and I really have no idea what time it is.
It feels kind of lonely, and I am not even out of Tokyo. Everyone here is so excited to be here. Except me. I mean I am, and I can’t wait to actually get to my own apartment and start to settle down in Tsu, Mie, where I will live for the next twelve months. Wow. I hadn’t even begun to realize the challenges. Buying food, mailing a letter, grabbing a cup of coffee, accomplishing anything... Suddenly, these things are all huge obstacles for me. Realizing the up escalator is on the left side, remembering to cover my mouth apologetically every time I yawn, and figuring out how to flush the toilet…these are all small obstacles, yet still obstacles. I already feel the stares and suddenly realize that I am surrounded by a different type of people, and I’ve only been out for about an hour to go get dinner. I ate at Denny’s, and there was no “pancakes with bacon and egg” on the menu. It was all Japanese food, and it even said the calories next to everything. No, I am no longer in America anymore.
Greetings from Japan!
Thanks for checking this out. Can't guarentee anything, but that's the fun of it i suppose. Anyhow, it took me so long for internet that the first handful of posts will be all old stuff I wrote in the first month. Enjoy!