poprocks

The other day I bought some candy I have never seen, and since it's frowned upon to eat while walking, I just shoved a handful in my mouth. Wow, Poprocks! At a store I pass, a lady is handing out a mini cup with a sample drink. Of course I take it. "Wait, I need the cup," she says in Japanese. It's burning hot, and I have to stand there drinking it and curtly answering her questions in Japanese, and every time I open my mouth it sounds like a damn machine gun. Judging by the slight terror on her face, she never had poprocks.

8 octaves? no biggie

Every company has an end of the year party (bonenkai), so the teachers all get drunk at a formal dinner. Yet there are always the token men who know, after the party its the afterparty. So I tagged along with the 6 (principal included!) to continue boozing at a snack bar. Which means we just snack on things and sing karaoke as the youngest (myself excluded) employee constantly fills our glasses.

I couldn't work the electronics, so they just picked the English songs. Though everyone tells me otherwise, I am a good singer. Especially when drunk. But even I know I failed miserably. What songs did they pick? The Star Spangled Banner. Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You. And they all took pictures on their camera phones.

Merry Christmas from Japan!

I'm actually enjoying myself at work just singing along to Christmas songs in my Santa hat. I went around with sweets (toffee is only butter and sugar, and it transforms like crazy!) which was fun. Missing the family, but it happens.

This was cute, but I couldnt stop laughing and he was embarrassed in class
Me: What do elves make?
High Schooler: Happy.

Many Japanese celebrate it on the eve. What do they eat? Fried chicken and Christmas Cake. KFC convinced them its the dinner with their advertising.

guess who!

For my 9 classes of forty freshman, the latest lesson is describing people. For the game, students wrote a descriptions of others, I read them aloud, and we had to guess who. How fun! A few were great, “His head looks like a sea urchin with plump cheeks” , "Looks like Obama" (he's really an amazing asian rendition!) or “She walks like a pigeon” (though I didn’t use that one ha).

But most everyone else? Made the game impossible because they didn't describe clothes like I told them to. So what?
“Hair is black. He is small/medium. He is kind and quiet.”
In Japan, that narrows it down to, let’s see, twenty students. Since the other twenty are described the same way, with "she".

trick or treat(ment)

Although no one (spare a few weirdos, and/including foreigners) ever dresses up for Halloween, all the students know all about it and the phrase “Trick or Treat.” So I went around the school all day making them recite it and then revealing candy (I was thinking full out costume, but the entire school had a very serious human rights lecture, no need to look like a total idiot). For a day, I was the most popular kid in school! I went through about 12 various bags of candy I got, and by the end my mixture dwindled to two types, and they would reluctantly choose a piece and then comment to their friends. As I headed home, I tried one and instantly knew my message:

“Oh yes, treat! Here, enjoy this medicinal yet arguably tasty menthol throat lozenge! It's so popular in America! Happy Halloween!”

Yep, total idiot. No costume needed.

night lights

Here is just a few pictures from the previous night of the festival (described below, lines and all)… Basically every town holds a handful of festivals throughout the year, and people just walk around eating amazing Japanese greasy junk food and watching spectacles of sorts (dance troops, people carrying small shrines, etc). They were about 20 people dragging this cart of lanterns. And here is the lady (arguably) who made my takoyaki, or balls of batter with a little chunk of octopus inside and some other delicious things, then drizzled in sauce and mayo. Oh how the Japanese love their mayo!

camera karma

Excited with my new camera, I traveled to see a devil festival with some friends. Basically, mothers hold their children up, parading demons freak the children out, and everyone under the age of 5 is crying and terrified. “It builds character.” It’s also rather hilarious. At the end of the day, I looked for the first time at all my wonderful shots and I noticed every one had these crazy lines through them that won’t go away (look closely)! I was furious. And for the record, it seems Japan terrified of the pope...

I marched into the camera store and butchered an explanation while pointing at the striped photos on the screen. The chick behind the counter had yellow hair (Japanese hair does NOT bleach well), black circles around her eyes, and resembled a stripper who threw on a work polo. She took a photo, looked at it, and low and behold it was perfect. I tried to explain she owed me a new camera and a time machine to go back to the festival, but she just stared at me through her hideously plastic eyelashes. I didn’t quite understand her response, but it was something like, “That’s what you get for switching all our cameras to English.” Yes baby, I feel your pain. Oh Japan, how you hurt us so!